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With you to the end... by TheLostGirl21 With you to the end... by TheLostGirl21
Just when you thought that your heart couldn't break any more than it already did...

Lady Insanity on YouTube has to go and upload the Renegade version of the Kaidan / Shepard evac. goodbye:

[link]

And he's not even romanced!

Cue waterworks...

I don't know how Shepard does it... Kaidan's puppy eyes are just killing me!
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:icondragonreina:
DragonReina Featured By Owner Jan 30, 2015
Guuurl i get ur feels so friggin hard yo !!!! happy cry XD 
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:iconwhereareyouchristmas:
Javik kind of ruins the mood...
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:iconladyphantomofmusic:
ladyphantomofmusic Featured By Owner Feb 1, 2014
Oh god, that face. I love you Kaiden, and your voice. I've loved you ever since you were Carth Onasi all those years ago in the world of Star Wars.
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:iconz101rocks:
Z101rocks Featured By Owner Aug 16, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
*bawls*
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:iconjupiterstation:
JupiterStation Featured By Owner May 19, 2013
I did not want to leave him!!! Not with those fucking puppy eyes!!!
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:icontobyk947:
Tobyk947 Featured By Owner Mar 31, 2013
His eyes are a little crossed. I giggled a bit.
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:iconthelostgirl21:
TheLostGirl21 Featured By Owner Apr 2, 2013
Lol! Actually, I think that this might be because of the shading... ;P Or maybe not... I see what you mean, though! Lol!
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:iconflamewhispers:
FlameWhispers Featured By Owner Mar 3, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Mine is more Paregan It is so sad either way as well as the breakup scene in #2 thanxx goodness they get back together :)
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:iconthelostgirl21:
TheLostGirl21 Featured By Owner Apr 2, 2013
Lol! Maybe I'm strange, but I never really saw it as a "breakup" per say.

If Kaidan doesn't have any idea what's in front of him (clone, advanced VI, someone that has been physically modified to impersonate Commander Shepard), it's kind of hard to know where they both stand in terms of a relationship in the first place. ;P

I wouldn't say that this moment was exactly pleasant for either parties. But I still love it! :D And of course I had complete faith that these two crazy lovebirds would get back together! Lol! I don't think that Kaidan would ever have reacted so strongly, and lost it like he did when "Shepard" reappeared before him if he wasn't hopelessly in love with her (or even him... "Thinking you were dead was like losing a limb" is pretty powerful imagery right there) in the first place. He's not one to treat his personal commitment to someone loosely.
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:iconflamewhispers:
FlameWhispers Featured By Owner Apr 6, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I totally agree I'm such a huge fan it's ridiculous it's one of the few games i'll actually play :)
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:iconkoponya:
koponya Featured By Owner Feb 27, 2013   Digital Artist
This may sound weird..So forgive me if it does.. but I haven't completed my playthrough on ME3 for the first time yet, and I would absolutely love to get this ending (no spoils, please :'( )
Do you basically just do the Renegade version of the ending or something? Any special methods?
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:iconthelostgirl21:
TheLostGirl21 Featured By Owner Apr 2, 2013
God I'm so sorry for taking forever to reply to this! :ohmygod: I got behind in all my correspondence lately and am desperately trying to catch up!

In case you still haven't finished ME3, you always get a similar ending if you choose Kaidan to be a part of your party during the last few missions on Earth.

What changes is the dialogue. It's hard for me to explain without spoilers. Lol!

All you need really is the "Extended Cut DLC" (that I think now comes standard). And you will have "this ending". To have that EXACT dialogue, you need to choose the Renegade conversation option, HOWEVER, you will miss out on a romantic gesture if you do.

If you choose the romantic gesture (assuming that Kaidan was romanced), then you won't have him say "I'm with you to the end." with that exact desperate look, but what is going to happen will be just as worth it, even more. ;P
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:iconkoponya:
koponya Featured By Owner Apr 12, 2013   Digital Artist
It's quite alright. I appreciate the reply. :)
shortly after I read your advice on this, I finally completed the game... So thank you very much!
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:iconarchangelofomega:
ArchangelOfOmega Featured By Owner Dec 20, 2012
When playing as a Male Shepard, I accidentally romanced Kaidan (I just kept clicking the top right option, didn't even realize I romanced him 'cause I skipped it). I found out on the "official" romance scene before the Cerberus thing when he came into my room and they made out and got naked.
I was laughing yet oddly attracted. I didn't end it 'cause I didn't want my Shep to be forever alone.
...
AND THOSE PUPPY DOG EYES MADE ME WEAK! When first going through the extended ending w/femshep (who loved Garrus) I took James instead.
He had the same puppy dog eyes.
SO ADOWABLE!
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:iconthelostgirl21:
TheLostGirl21 Featured By Owner Apr 2, 2013
Lol! I've often heard of Kaidan's "ninjamancing" abilities, but never have gotten the chance to experience them for myself (mostly because I almost systematically choose him as LI).

But yes, I think that in ME3 Kaidan is one of the first "dates" that you can have with your companions that locks the romance. So, if you went for dinner with him right out of the Citadel Coup, and kept clicking on the top options... There you go! PERMANENT RELATIONSHIP! :D Lol!

Yes, those damn puppy dog eyes... They get to me all the time! I think that the animators have made them "extra puppy" in Kaidan's case, though... Or it's just the over-expressive eyebrows...
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:iconryusui:
Ryusui Featured By Owner Nov 22, 2012
That is so ridiculously heartbreaking, his face is just pure pain...
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:iconthelostgirl21:
TheLostGirl21 Featured By Owner Apr 2, 2013
:tears: I know, right? Whoever was in charge of the animations for Kaidan must've really wanted to torture his fans. ;P Lol!
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:iconreio-lov3:
REiO-LoV3 Featured By Owner Oct 31, 2012  Student Digital Artist
I know!! poor Kaiden :(
James' goodbye was even worse for me!
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:iconthelostgirl21:
TheLostGirl21 Featured By Owner Nov 17, 2012
Kaidan for me is the worst (knowing that it took him 2 years to recover from losing Shepard the first time around, and what effect his/her death could possibly have on him now).

Otherwise EDI (especially in the Renegade goodbye version) completely broke my heart with her "The Normandy's survival is not strategic!" and Shepard going "That's an order, EDI. *Pause* A moral one."

A romanced Tali replying that Shepard is her "home" after Shepard tells her that he wants Tali to get the chance to build her home on Rannoch was pretty heartbreaking.

Probably one of the most emotionally charged scenes of ME3.
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:iconreio-lov3:
REiO-LoV3 Featured By Owner Nov 17, 2012  Student Digital Artist
:'(

I love these games and the emotional connections you develop for its characters...but i really really wanted a happy ending dang it! -_-
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:icongiuliasnape:
GiuliaSnape Featured By Owner Oct 27, 2012  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
So sad moment T_T
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:iconthelostgirl21:
TheLostGirl21 Featured By Owner Nov 17, 2012
Agreed! :tears:
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:iconaxxaxxin:
Axxaxxin Featured By Owner Oct 19, 2012
I bawled my head off. T_T I still do, thinking of Kaidan without his Sheploo kills me!
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:iconthelostgirl21:
TheLostGirl21 Featured By Owner Nov 17, 2012
So do I...

What's even worst is that I've never been able to bring myself to choose the "destroy" ending so far (and I'm not sure I ever will).

So, in every single game I play, Shepard ends up dying... :tears:

Thankfully, I've found a loophole with the synthesis ending that would allow him to be brought back. ;P

Otherwise, I tend to have all these bittersweet headcanons where Kaidan never recovers from losing Shepard, and ends up following him soon after (mostly as a result of health complications).

I'm thinking that with the ridiculous amount of stress that Kaidan's been under over the last three years, the severe head injury he sustained on Mars (where his implant apparently got pretty "rattled"), losing Shepard not once but twice, the possibility that he's just lost his whole family, too (his father was already MIA and presumed dead, and his mother was still on Earth)...

The fact that intense and persisting stress or grief can ravage someone's nervous, immune, and endocrine systems. Or even trigger what we call a "broken heart syndrome" ( [link] ). And, of course, the fact that L2 biotics appear to experience more complications from their implants under stress (complications usually targeting their nervous sytem).

Well, it wouldn't be too far fetched to believe that Kaidan's body could end up being unable to cope with all the psychological and physical strain it's been under, and slowly (or quickly) start failing.

And with Shepard gone, and the galaxy once again safe, Kaidan may find himself simply not having enough left to fight for.

My first headcanon (before the EC DLC came out) actually had Kaidan not surviving that final push instead. But they ended up fixing his "teleportation act" with the evac scene. Lol!

But yeah, what totally breaks my heart with ME3's ending isn't so much that Shepard has to sacrifice his life, but seeing Kaidan being left behind all alone once again. :tears:
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:iconaxxaxxin:
Axxaxxin Featured By Owner Nov 18, 2012
I know, right?! Q_Q Shepard dying is one thing and is depressing in of itself. But then Kaidan... alone... :tears: The two have had crappy lives when you think about it. So much stress (you gave super good reasons), scorn and lack of support from everyone around them (excluding the Normandy crew of course)and just depressing childhood memories. They really ever only find comfort, acceptance and love in each other.


If one goes, then so does the other! My headcanon will not accept it any other way! :X As long as they are together in this life or the next, I'll be happy. :meow: Cuz, they deserve it. :D
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:iconthelostgirl21:
TheLostGirl21 Featured By Owner Apr 2, 2013
Hear hear! :nod:

I'm not a fan of codependent relationships, and I'm not implying that this is what Kaidan and Shepard have here either (because both Kaidan and Shepard are fully autonomous adults capable of making decisions for themselves, and functioning on their own)...

But I do think that Kaidan's highly introverted personality and past experiences have created a unique dynamic where Shepard sort of became his primary "emotional caretaker", so to speak. And I do mean it in a completely mutual, healthy way (a.k.a. not the unhealthy way where one's needs are sacrificed to the other).

They rely a lot on each other for emotional support (like you said: comfort, acceptance, love, etc.). And while Kaidan does now have other friends among the Normandy's crew, they do not seem to take the same time to truly "listen" to him (on a side note, here's a post I made about Shepard's listening abilities : [link] ), or understand where he's coming from.

While women are typically encouraged and expected to openly express their emotions with friends and family members, and can also be seen hugging, cuddling up with, and kissing their friends without any romantic intent...

Men tend to be a little less "physical" in their contacts with their social groups (except for handshakes, quick manly hugs, a good pat on the back, etc.)... And they rarely feel comfortable enough to openly cry in each others' arms, or talk about their deepest emotional issues.

The one person that they will typically (once again, it's not an universal principle, just based on social observations) allow themselves to fully open up with and seek comfort from will be their romantic life partner, or spouse.

So, the reason why many men will often end up dying from health complications in the year following their partner's death is not because they love their partner more than women do. But mostly because women will (again, typically) have access to a much larger source of emotional support, and have been taught more efficient emotional coping skills since they were very young.

But Kaidan grew up as a "freak", learning very fast that people are naturally distrustful or scared of him (no wonder he is a bit adorably awkward in social situations). And before Shepard finally managed to get through to him and encouraged him to "loosen up" a little - made him feel that it was safe for him to talk about his feelings and/or express them - one if his greatest fears was losing people he loved (and/or accidentally hurting them) if he didn't manage to remain perfectly self-controlled.

So, all of these circumstances have put Kaidan in a position where Shepard became particularly important to him in terms of being able to achieve a certain balance in his life, I think. And sadly, Shepard is thus very likely to have become Kaidan's only significant source of emotional support (besides maybe his parents, that may or may not have survived the war). Even as a friend, Kaidan will be completely distraught on Horizon over losing Shepard, and will express that thinking that he was dead was "like losing a limb" for him.

Plus, it has recently been brought to my attention that Kaidan apparently engages in a lot of self-soothing behavior ( [link] )... Lol!

So, what we have here is basically a highly sensitive man that:
- tends to keep everything that he feels to himself,
- openly admits to having very few friends and to thinking that people find his integrity (that I believe is directly connected to Kaidan's sense of identity) annoying (the "friendly" Citadel dinner),
- is afraid that losing control over his emotions will cause people he cares about to withdraw from him,
- is (or used to be) afraid that by openly talking about his past, he will be perceived as a "whiner" and a burden to others,
- AND, on top of everything else, already suffers from neurological health complications related to his implant*.

*Note: the biggest trigger for migraines is usually stress. And some people (generally over 30) can end up dying as a result of having experienced a migrainous infarction, a.k.a. a migraine-induced stroke (because during a migraine attack, there is decreased blood flow to the brain that diminishes the amount of oxygen and nutrients that can reach the brain tissue. A migraine lasting more than 72 hours non stop is thus usually considered a medical emergency)...

Kaidan not surviving Shepard's loss would thus definitely make a lot of sense to me. And since I can't bear the thought of them having to wait so long to find each other again after everything they have been through, that's my headcanon, damnit! Lol!

Shepard told him "When this is over, I'm going to be waiting for you. You'd better show up."

So this is exactly what he's going to do. He'll show up, and they are going to have one hell (not "hell" as in... You know what I mean!) of an afterlife together, okay?

*Sigh* And here I got once again carried away with the MShenko feels... Lol! ;P Sorry!
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:iconaxxaxxin:
Axxaxxin Featured By Owner Apr 2, 2013
Oh...my... *inner screaming*
That was one of the most amazing things I have ever read and witnessed! WOW. You are a fantastic observer on human behavior and personalities. I am speechless and shocked, to be honest, at how closely I resembled Kaidan in some aspects, ones I've never realized such as feeling like a burden on others when I open up to them or feeling like I can never explain myself properly or express my feelings right. I'm apparently in a lot of distress as I frequently hold myself the way Kaidan does. (While I've always subconsciously known that, this is the first time I've actually caught myself doing it.)

It's no freaking wonder you and cyg write Kaidan so well! ^_^

Love you!! gahaha!
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:iconthelostgirl21:
TheLostGirl21 Featured By Owner Apr 3, 2013
Lol!

I've always had a great interest for anything related to psychology, philosophy, and sociology. Of course, a great deal of anything I observe and comment on remains speculative and subjective, since my observations are obviously tainted by my own experiences. And, well, unless I can directly ask the person "Is this what you're really feeling / experiencing?", it's perfectly open to interpretation.

But I do enjoy observing people and trying to identify certain thought or behavior patterns, to seek to understand what motivates them and/or why they react to some situations the way that they do, etc.

You could almost call it a personal hobby of mine. Lol! I even went as far as trying to approach the Mass Effect's events from the Reapers perspective ( [link] ).

So yeah, some people collect stamps, others grow plants... I seek to better understand people, including fictional characters. ;P

And Kaidan, well... Let's say that I quickly fell in love with him. Lol! Which may not be all that surprising considering that my real life partner is an adorkable adorable, kind-hearted, supportive and altruistic geek young man that is deeply introverted, a little socially awkward, a bit clumsy when trying to express his emotions, gets "angry" (but never violent or abusive, more like easily frustrated) and seems a bit agitated when distraught; but otherwise is typically very calm, rational, pragmatic, and realistic.

He doesn't open up easily, unless he's sure that the person listening to him won't be quick to judge and get on the defensive, will respect his emotions and opinions, and will take the time to listen. And he actually relies on a single person (his romantic partner, a.k.a. myself) for emotional support, despite being very sensitive and feeling things deeply. He's a still waters run deep kinda guy. ;P You just have to know how to navigate them (I'm not sure that sounded right! Lol!).

Whereas I'm an extrovert that makes friends easily, has no trouble expressing myself in public, and tends to be a little impulsive. Lol! And yet, there's no one else in the world that can manage to make me feel as safe, loved, and accepted for who I am as he does. He has that calming, grounding influence that helps me find my center, and that can be deeply soothing.

So I just *might* end up projecting a lot of his own personality into the way that I will write or roleplay Kaidan, as I feel that they have similar personality types. At the same time, Kaidan's fears of making mistakes that could end up costing others, as well as his strong sense of personal integrity is something that I tend to identify a lot with. Having been regularly bullied as a kid and teenager and not having had a lot of friends back then probably helps me connect with the whole "growing up as a human biotic" aspect, too.

I recently made two little descriptions for a Mass Effect AU ropleplay (AU since many characters that died in the series are still alive) that pretty much explains how I perceive Kaidan as a character ( [link] ), and what I believe one of his greatest sources of motivation is ( [link] ).

It's not an MShenko RPG (since Garrus and Shepard are together), so it's given me to opportunity to explore yet another pairing that was once actually considered by ME1's writers... Kaidan and Ashley! Lol!

Rumor has it that, just like it was once planned that both Ashley and Kaidan would be able to survive Virmire under certain circumstances (the audio for that was recorded and is available here on Youtube: [link] )... The initial plan was for Ashley and Kaidan to initiate a romance together if Shepard went for Liara, or decided to avoid romance altogether. A bit like the relationship that will emerge between Garrus and Tali in ME3.

There's a moment still in the game that actually hints to it (and happens only if FemShep has made it clear that she's not interested in Kaidan... Otherwise, Ashley will clearly state that she's not interested, since Kaidan is apparently already "sweet" on someone): [link]

I suppose that they dropped that idea when they chose to force the player to make a choice between the two of them on Virmire. After all, there's only so much tragedy that one can take (seriously, imagine having to choose between Kaidan or Ashley while knowing that these two are in love with each other).

But still, the way that I portray Kaidan is pretty much the same in this RPG as it is in "Worth Living For". He just has a different relationship dynamic with Ashley, and is being exposed to different situations. So these two little descriptions still fit. :D

And it's great if you feel that you can connect with Kaidan on some level, and it is helping you better understand yourself, in some way.

Anders (from Dragon Age 2) is probably the one videogame character that I identify the strongest with, and his whole story arch helped me cope with one of the most difficult challenges of my personal life.

Turns out that videogames can be highly therapeutic! Lol!
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:iconlupoxvector:
lupoxvector Featured By Owner Aug 30, 2012  Hobbyist Interface Designer
oh my gohs XD i cant stop to smile.his face is just to cute :aww::iconblushesplz:
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:iconthelostgirl21:
TheLostGirl21 Featured By Owner Oct 14, 2012
You are probably the first one to leave a comment saying that she is smiling instead of crying... ;P

But yes, Kaidan has the cutest face animations in that game.
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:iconlupoxvector:
lupoxvector Featured By Owner Oct 31, 2012  Hobbyist Interface Designer
oh XD cool


yup =D
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:icondoctorhyper826:
DoctorHyper826 Featured By Owner Aug 11, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Looking at this again. Saw Javik, nearly shat myself
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:iconthelostgirl21:
TheLostGirl21 Featured By Owner Aug 21, 2012
Lol! I don't understand why Javik seems to have that effect on people... I mean, here he is, casually covered in the blood of primitives... ;P
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:icondoctorhyper826:
DoctorHyper826 Featured By Owner Aug 21, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
I think it's because I didn't see him the first time, and then all of a sudden BAM I notice!!
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:iconkumasan-1992:
Kumasan-1992 Featured By Owner Jul 26, 2012
Ough, this scene made me cry...again! Why are hurting me like that Bioware T-T
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:iconthelostgirl21:
TheLostGirl21 Featured By Owner Aug 21, 2012
They must be drawing power from the number of tears shed over Shenko, or something... Why else would they have given Kaidan the most expressive facial features in that scene? Seriously, I've watched the other goodbyes, and no one gives Shepard "the eyebrows" like Kaidan does!
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:iconnakurai-fang:
Nakurai-Fang Featured By Owner Jul 16, 2012
this made me cry in the playthrough... i honestly don't know if i would be able to leave him T-T
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:iconthelostgirl21:
TheLostGirl21 Featured By Owner Jul 17, 2012
Me neither... Seriously, since it appears that Kaidan can no longer walk on his own, I think that my Shepard would just pick him up, throw him over his shoulders, and start running again. :D They've gotten pretty used to Shepard carrying him around anyway. It would be just like old times! ;P
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:iconnakurai-fang:
Nakurai-Fang Featured By Owner Jul 18, 2012
lol thats true XD although if i was Shepard i don't think i would be strong enough to carry him LOL
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:iconthelostgirl21:
TheLostGirl21 Featured By Owner Jul 20, 2012
Lol! If I was Shepard, I wouldn't even be strong enough to carry myself (can't walk for more than a few meters without collapsing). ;P

So we have to suppose that if any of us had managed to make it this far and found ourselves in that exact same situation, that means that we'd be strong enough to carry him a third time! :D
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:iconnakurai-fang:
Nakurai-Fang Featured By Owner Jul 22, 2012
this is true haha xD i wish he was real :'(
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:iconmrjuniorer:
MrJuniorer Featured By Owner Jul 10, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
I LOVE HIM!!!
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:iconthelostgirl21:
TheLostGirl21 Featured By Owner Jul 16, 2012
I hear ya! :D
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:iconcortosiskylee:
CortosisKylee Featured By Owner Jul 5, 2012
:tears: Kaiden!!
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:iconthelostgirl21:
TheLostGirl21 Featured By Owner Jul 9, 2012
:tears:
Reply
:iconeff3ctz2012:
Eff3ctz2012 Featured By Owner Jul 3, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Awww at least he is safe, oh my heart look at those eyes :'( BIOWARE... BUT WHY!
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:iconthelostgirl21:
TheLostGirl21 Featured By Owner Jul 9, 2012
Safe, but all alone now... AGAIN. :tears:

It's really one of those games where it's just impossible to have a completely happy ending.
Reply
:iconallelujah-kyrios:
Allelujah-Kyrios Featured By Owner Jul 1, 2012  Student Writer
I was so happy to be able to get him on the Normandy, but then he gave Shepard that face, and I lost it. How BioWare does it, I have no freaking idea.
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:iconthelostgirl21:
TheLostGirl21 Featured By Owner Jul 9, 2012
They knew that they needed to deliver all the FEELS for that DLC... :tears:

I think I about lost it when he said "Don't leave me behind." Even if you try to play it Renegade, it's impossible for your heart not to break.
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:iconartfreak959:
artfreak959 Featured By Owner Jul 1, 2012  Student Writer
Those EYES!!! :tears: WHY BIOWARE??? WHY!!!!
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